03ENDINGS

It was my Prom on Friday and it will the last time I'll be with all my school friends. The whole night was incredible. It's strange to think that I'll never be in school again, although its a drag at times I will miss it, no doubt. We spent the night dancing, saying goodbye to teachers, getting all dressed up. Pre-Prom and After-Prom were also incredible it was a great way to say goodbye and just go all out.





















A.

12ISLAND

So yesterday I went on a walk up into the woods. I toddled around for over an hour swerving between the trees and taking photographs. I go up there quite a lot it's so peaceful and cut off from the rest off the world. At one point the sun broke through the heavy rain-clouds, that have been hanging in the sky for a while now, and it was a truly beautiful sight.



















A.

12RUN

First off, this blog has been seriously neglected. For that I am sorry. I don't truly understand why, it's been busy recently and I just haven't felt like talking for a while.
But I guess that phase has past and I'm back; even if it's only for a 5 minuet ramble.
Lots of things have changed as I am sure they have for a lot of people. Whilst the summer is an amazing time it also has it's ups and downs. I always find myself loosing hold of people in summer. I always seem to drift, find out who my are real friends and who, well, isn't.
In September I shall be in Six Form. I left my school of five years yesterday and I don't think it's really hit me yet. I'm nervous for a new school environment. In all honesty I'd only just begun to find my place in this one. Lot's of events are coming and going like the quick summer rain and it feels like time has spun out of control a little. I still have five more exams to finish. Then there is prom, after prom, more parties, a few days where I go to my new collage to see what it's like, then a holiday.
After that I have a lot of free time which I intend to do one thing and one thing only with, be free. For the past two years there has been constant pressure and now It's finally time to breath again.
People come and go. Time changes. Era's end and new ones begin.
When I feel like everythings falling from beneath my feet I have to stop myself and think; Alex, your only a fucking 16 year old. You have the rest of your life to live. You'll make it.
And even though sometimes it's hard to believe, you can always find a way to pull through.

A.

23BETTEROFF

So it's the Easter Holidays! It's fair to say that It's been amazing so far. From parties to picnics to seaside trips to chilling in the sun it is such a relief to finally have some time off school. Today I tore down some of the sections of paper that were on my walls. Because I'm crappy at throwing stuff out I started to put it all in a scrap book.

It doesn't look like I've actually moved much but it took me two hours, and trust me there was a lot..



Before:



After:



A.

11ALIVE

I had a three day weekend this week. It was an incredible three days, I wont lie. The sun was boiling and it was like I was free for just those 72 hours.




















Watch The Sun Come Up - Example

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03NIGHTAWAY

Dionne Bromfield - Yeah Right

You do what you want, whenever you want. You're rarely sober and you're always smiling. I can see the pain in your eyes even as you laugh and I can tell by the way you touch me your lonely with a lot of love in you. I know that there is something there but you have to learn to open up. You're just like me, you do the things you do to escape reality. You do it because, just for a while, you can forget about all the shit that's building up in your mind. You can be free. I know you more than you know yourself. You know me more than I know myself. When you smile, I smile and it some fucked up way it sends shivers down my spine. I know it's you when you jump up behind me and you told me you can't get enough of me. It's crazy as fuck and it makes me smile when I think about it. I'm taking each day as it comes and keeping in mind that I can do anything I want. The April showers are here and I feel like were all growing up, going our separate ways, realising who we will always keep in touch with and who we wont. The future is nigh and I am so ready.

A.

30EVACUATE

In the past month a lot has changed. It's not just the lame same old boring crap that everyone my age goes on about any more. This time it's stuff that makes a big difference, stuff I wont forget about in 20 something years. I don't really know whats going with anything and I'm taking each day a step at a time.

The following photos are from the past few weeks or so and every time I look at them I can't help but grin...

The Grits - My Life Be Like

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16DAYS

I'm very rushed off my feet recently. The Textiles course work send off is looming upon me and is becoming increasly worrying. Also keeping on top of art course work seems impossible.
A lot of things are changing right now and it feels like there is only one thing I can do to make everything easier/better. The photos were taken on Sunday when I went with my friends Tom and Josh to watch/laugh at them skating. It was an amaingly sunny day and it was good to finaly feel heat on my skin once again.

A.

07CHANGING

When I get the chance to get out of this place, everything is going to change. I'm going to live in a City, somewhere far away, somewhere I can make a fresh start. I'm going to find a small, enjoyable, but supportive job. I'm going to be free. For as long as I can. If I dont move to a city, I'll live in the woods, any wood. In a cabin and I'll paint and smoke and write and walk and live. My friends will come visit and we'll have amazing parties and make massive bonfires and sit up all night under the stars. I'll go in to the local village once a week to buy coffee and cigarettes and apples and such. I'll be known as the crazy lady from the woods and I'll fucking love it because I wont give a flying fuck. Or I could live in Bali. I'd lay in the sun, swim in the warm sea. I'd be a painter and live a peacful life. The point is, I'm going to get away, I'm going to be the person I want to be. It's just a matter of time.

A.

06KINGDOM

Yesterday was a truly incredible day. I spent it with my closest friends, doing things we shouldn't do... It was amazing, however it has left today being one of those "Oh shit I have fuck loads of coursework to do" days. I'm currently sat in my bedroom doing yet more Textiles work, it's annoying because today is a pretty nice day and I'd much rather I was outside. I might give it another hour then just go out...










Lady Gaga - Scheibe

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26VIOLET

I've been really ill for the last couple of days now. The worse thing is that instead of my family being all caring towards me they all seem to hate me for it. My Dad being an exception to this however. I'm sick of being surrounded by people who hate me for things I do and decisions I make. Every single time I cough my Mum gives me this look and I know she's just thinking dirty little smoker. It used to bother me, I used to give a shit what people thought of me, I really did. But what is the point? I'm not going to change who I am for anyone nor will I apologise for the person I am becoming. I'm not the kind of person who wants to live for a super long time and earn shit loads of money. I just want to be happy, see the world, experience new things. As naive and childish as that sounds, it's the truth. I'm not going to worry about the future, I'm going to live for now. I think everyone needs to lighten up a little. Since when did everything have to be so serious? Just because I don't want to go to Uni, just because I'm happy with a C in maths, doesn't mean I am a bad person. I want to carrying on doing the things I love and just forget about the rest. So, to bad if the people around me don't agree with me.
I think they've forgotten that actually, this, right here, right now, is MY life, it doesn't belong to anyone else, just me, and I can do whatever the hell I want with it.

A.

p.s sorry for the rant.

21MOJO

So. I am the worst blogger ever. I don't even understand where this past month has gone, I wish I could explain the lack of blogging however It has honesty just slipped my mind... several times.
Anyway it's the half term finally,  and I couldn't be happier to do nothing. I love sleeping in late and watching films to early hours in the morn. School is taking all of my energy out of me at the minuet and this week off couldn't have arrived at a better time.
Yesterday I went to Birmingham with the family to do some shopping & this is what I wore:











The Ready Set - Love Like Woe

I also got approached and asked if I would like to work in Hollister. I had to explain I don't live anywhere near Birmingham... I was pissed that I had to turn a job like that down though.

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